Life Is Like A Vision

Think

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 21:56:04 GMT

A name identifies you Your ethnicity gives you culture So why is racism a hidden evil now People say I am not racist but their actions show other wise. Open your eyes one by one embrace what is around you What makes someone Mexican or Puerto Rican or even Black for that matter? Quick to hit or put the gun on someone Yet no one says a word History is just a blurr Pride is recieved no given Hold a hand the same blood flows through the veins so why not grasps it before they sing taps at another funeral

Money Bags

Sat, 30 Apr 2005 05:07:51 GMT

I was having a good day til the phone call from my dear mom she irritates me sometimes talking about how our morgage went up 600 thats madness we don't have that kind of money then she like their goes the shopping sprees .......damn I was mad cuz thats all she said its like HELLO!!!! pay the bills plus school will be 1,000 grrrrrrrrr I wanna shake someone just to get the fustration out UGH!!!! *prays* we will be ok I hope

Rockets War!

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 15:21:04 GMT

This week has turned out to be a good week depise everything going on, but you know what, what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Life is like Chess choose your moves carefully and u will win in the end. I had the weirdest dream I dreamt I was getting yelled at cuz I lost my ring LOL!!! I was just like omg I dunno what happend to it. I dunno if my mom was yelling or someone else I know it was a lady though.. Lately I been hungry at all hours of the day I eat right so who knows. I just love food I guess. I spoke with Derek yesterday aww I swear I hope the best for him always he is my best friend and I hate to see him down he is the type that is to hard on himself, but I understand because I am the exact same. The only difference is I let things go alot quicker than he does. Today is gonna be a good day Rockets are going to win like the champs we are Weeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! Rawkin the #1 jeresy cuz I am a hustla baby, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

Before I sign out I would like to say thanks to

jtseverson for making the mornings enjoyable and interesting ones I think he is the coolest person but we still have lots to learn, which is a good thing! :-) Well I am out for now cuz I need some breakfast u see I am always thinking about food LOL!!!

Hip Hop Hooray

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 05:54:52 GMT

Ok so I am back with the latest 411, lemme tell u its been a hell of a life these past few week, lucky none of my crew read my entries, not that I don't say what I got to but its just like these past weeks no one understands nor gives a damn about my dealings. Three people I got to be greatful too and thats my mom goodness how I love this lady so much without her I wouldn't be as strong. Second my boy Derek in Brooklyn NY aww how I luh this boy he is my other piece of my hip hop soul. I will be happy when we kick some coronas in 3 weeks hell yeah thats what I call a vacay!!!!!!!!! NYC is u ready for me like I am ready for you!! woot 3rd would be my sunshine lala she tells it raw and sometimes I need that because sometimes I am so stubborn I don't hear myself speak. As for my girl D.. I wonder where she is I haven't spoken to her in days since friday can u tell I am missing friends and fam right now :( I will live just having and dealing with obsticles out of my control, but unlike others I do something about my issues. Awww love TX this time of year weather is fantastic for pimp stylish clothes to rawk...I been meeting some cool people on the net lately like fernie he so cool.. Besides what I just stated everything is going ok I guess I just need a night to relax with a drink or 2 but I have to wait til NY Good Times Good Times

When did u first fall in love with hip hop?

Back In Pimpin Action

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 07:09:42 GMT

Well alot has happend in the last few weeks but right now I am just trying to stay above water with school and things I will right more manana! Stay up Stay easy and be real

The Kuala Of The Fam

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 18:16:59 GMT

This is my Kuala Cally Reyna Bocanegra what a name yes I know but just look at her she has full head of hair like whoa LOL Jan 31st 7pounds I entered this world!

Hip Hop

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 00:57:26 GMT

1980 I was still a baby
remembering the beats of
Kool in the gang
teenagers doing their thing
who would of thought
Hip Hop would be so inspiring

The addias and cross colors clothes
to lady's wearing big hoop earings
sitting in the park
chillin watching
breaker dancers do their leg spins
Hip Hop yet again leaving its mark

Now times changed
What people didn't imagine is
Hip Hop as a poetic form of art
Breathing, Sleeping Hip Hop
Popping in old to new skool
Lauryn pouring out her heart
to Nas flowin' the knowledge of black history
Hip Hop will always be a poetic tool

Remember when 2pac & biggie got shot?
Now you have rappers claiming samples
of their beats thinking thats HOT!
When really its not
Rappers and Poets come and go
But in the eyes of a fan
I will always recall how it all began

What People Fail To Realize

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 19:08:13 GMT

Its that time again where a college student prepares for finals next week, in one sentence I am glad this semester is over I have never had my pride and self esteem knocked down as hard as I did these last 3 months. Though I never gave up because I am a true soldier holding my own. I am at the end I could see the end of all this madness= Graduation! Sometimes I think back who all did I meet this term and hang out with I came out with no one really except for 1. I guess I was so much into my books that the world passed me by.

You know now that Christmas is approching I see couples all over the place, it doesn't bother me as much as it used to simply because I have gone through so many trials and errors with boys who are so called men its kinda like what a minute I can stand on my own for now why do I need a man for..Granted that feeling of butterflies and just having company is surely missed. I know what I want...

A man capable of following through with his goals, Family oriented, learn how to be friends first before anything else (thats what deep love is made of) Someone who can laugh and make me laugh...Has the same passion for music as I do ( I love me some Hip Hop and R&B) Looks aren't everything people fail to realize that looks are just a bonus its what u have in common thats important! Thats a REAL man!

*****************************************************************************************

Cd's Of The Week-

1. Nas-"Street Desciples" (another illmatic part 2)

2. Linkin Park/ Jay-z "Collusion Course" ( a creative callabo)

3.John Legend- "Get Lifted"(energentic vibe and soulful sound)

4. Destiny's Child- "Fullfilled" (Its ok I expected more from them, their sound is a little low more than normal, as far as beats go)

This Concludes my entry for today now its time to be productive and get things done...Be good!

A Christmas Gift

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 18:39:18 GMT

I wrote this 2 nights ago....

To My Parents

Reflections are a mirror on life's events
Life is like a crystal ball
So clear yet reveals alot
Remember that day a young woman
who soon would be known as my mother
gave birth to a girl
Hugging her embracing her, she was on top of the world
Not knowing what was ahead
All grown up now the past is left behind to move forward
Taking that first step as I learn how to walk in the real world
leaving a footprint or even my mark
Thank You Mother
For everything that was taught and given out of love
Most Important the guidence I needed
Also sharing something so dear

A man you called your father
Grandpa as most know him
A man wise yet humble
who taught me its ok to explore
my possibilites because when successful
My parents will be there at the door with open arms
The times he spent telling me wise tales
Each time he always has said
Your Special To Me
Never have I been more proud
To call him my father
When my real one wasn't around

The day came where I questioned
Who are my parents?
Without a doubt
I knew who my father and mother were
It was clear
Between both I have learned and realized
The person you want me to be and the person I am
Strong, Independent
A leader in my own right
No one is made to live forever
In my heart and soul
I will cherish every minute of every moment
words go unsaid but actions to you say
Thank You and I Love You Both

You Know very well

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 17:51:07 GMT

Hola Hola I didn't realize it had been over a month since I had written..My life has been ok just boring I been hanging out with my boy rob on another site. Lately I been offline alot because to much online drama The "Crew" I will say needs to step away from the damn pc its like hello its not ur life go out and have some fun meet people
I can't wait to go home 11 more days weeeeeeeeeee I really don't feel like writing so I'm out be good!

Who am I?

Wed, 27 Oct 2004 22:52:08 GMT

Who am I? At age three a little girl with freckles all eyes looking upon me Who am I? Age six learning how to read and discovering the world around me Playing with dolls while mom went to work. Who am I? Age ten just wondering who will be my new best friend Who am I? At thirteen all the things I wanted to be a writer,a dj, even a lawyer but yet no one could tell me what my dream was Who am I? At last eighteen yet I learned so much but not enough People warned me Watch out for the real world its tough. Getting the diploma was a good accomplishment But is this where it ends or begins? At age twenty one feeling like an adult but yet still a child so much to experience so little time finally in my mind I was on my own Taking that journey with some trials and tribulations even some speculations who am I to be? Who am I? am I suppose to be, what society pictures me to be? or who my parent wants me to be? am I the independant woman who fears nothing but the unknown? I am who I want myself to be Strong, determined yet loving indiviual who is not afraid to speak her mind Always having one step forward before taking a step back. There is so much more to learn and accomplish its always a wish to make dreams into a reality.

In the middle of the fog

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 20:35:23 GMT

Thoughts enter my mind
what am I to do?
I try and try again
nothing seems to work
My Sanity is fading
I am losing control
Feeling my eyes
they so teary
mentally I am weary

People say they understand
but they don't
Quiting was never an option before
so why start now
how did I get myself here?
Listening to everyone is easy
why am I so hard to please
when achieving my dreams
Darkness has fallen
I step deep into the fog
not able to see the way out
I just know its there
but taking a step back
doesn't help move forward

Believe is such a strong word

The 3 C's Calm Cool Collective

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 18:59:44 GMT

I have a new state of mind in place, and thats just do whatever is in ur power to do, don't try and overwork urself for things that u have no sense of control or direction over. I myself stress alot but lately it hasn't been that way. My additude has changed. I have my friend to thank for that, his words of wisdom helped alot. Things have been pretty busy here. On friday I went to 2 parties after midnight madness which is like the basketball kick off for this school year, that was cool. The party I went to first was GHETTO. My friends and I get there and it looked like we were having a party in the woods. Parking in some field NO music, now u tell me whats a party without music, thats a social! so I was there 5 mins then bounced. 2nd party was in a nice neighborhood 5 blocks full of cars but we had to pay to get into that one. Since neither my friends nor I had money we turned around and went home. I did see some old friends though which was good..Oh and I tried a new drink Whiskey sour, ahh hell that ish was nasty the guy made it to strong, I only took 3 sips and that was it. Saturday &sunday just study and chill here at home. I was getting annoyed cuz my net wasn't working, and even though I didn't need it its always nice to know its there. Saturday I found out one of my good friend's mom has cancer. I was in shock but I truely believe she will be alright. This week I have 3 exams but I can do it...Right now I am meeting with this girl to go over stats -smh- this seems like it never ends huh?

I am pretty happy because in 2 weeks I am going to see my mom and my homie for halloween whoo where has the month gone? My roomate and I are ok I guess I am never home when she is and vice versa. I tell u some ppl surprise me when they lack common sense. She is not focused on alot of things and all this time I thought she was. Well I got to go for now but not for long...peace

Only In America

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 22:45:27 GMT

Boondocks comic rules so honest & truthful yet so funny! LMAO!!!

Just Sitting Back Relaxing and Observing

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 22:35:21 GMT

Well its sunday and tomrrow I have the day off, but still got things to do. You ever thought of just sitting back and observing what goes on online. People crack me up sometimes. I will admit I am online more than I should be but little by little its been less and less. I chat with ppl who are something that they aren't for instance, there is one individual who thinks he is "cute and god's gift" I am like Oh boy be real... then in the same breath he says he is bi-polar and has add. As a matter of fact today when I signed on a lil bit ago, someone starts to chat with me and within the first 5 mins they give me their # & not even in my area, alot of times I am sitting here typing thinking "where do these ppl come from?" because they are the ones that strike me as odd. I say this because I met ppl on both levels many times offlines those who are exactly the way the converse on the pc the only difference is your taking away the screen and the others where they are NOTHING like they seem online LOL!!! I laugh at those moments. People always ask me "are u the same as online offline" my response is yes what u see is what u get, why pretend it takes to much thinking then just being yourself.

This weekend has been one of the best weekends I have had in a long time, I didn't do a damn thing, no hw I didn't have to go anywhere with anybody I just relaxed although the dream I had last night freaked me out I dreamt I was in a car accident with one of my fam members and they hit us from the side, and I saw my cousin hit the winsheild and that was it. So I dunno what happend afterwards..it was kinda like those unfinished movies. Well these are my random thoughts for the day I have to start doing my homework for stats of psychology.

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 05:02:40 GMT

THE BOND BETWEEN TWO
A sacrid yet trustful bond
called marriage
why now and days is it treated as a game
The choice the couple makes should last
yet it ends so fast before it begins

What happend to behind a good woman is a great man?
A emotion called LOVE taken for granted
Its not what people imagined

MUSICAL JOURNEY
Sitting by the bed side
the radio plays the latest song
why do the subminal messeges hide?
Turning up Jadakiss's "why"
truth be told in lyrics
just people and society don't hear
Soothing the mind and soul of one
is what the heart has yet to become
that is loved the way things should be

*Ok I was trying to write a piece but I just wrote pieces as to what comes to mind at the moment I will finish these up later*

My way of speaking

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 21:19:13 GMT

Agh I feel so grimey today, its been awhile since I have had a chance to write to release the tension in my thoughts. School started thursday what a heart-attack they gave me that day. Its my senior yr of college. Hoping that I could graduate in spring 05 is not gonna be possible and thats such a bish, never fear though I know its around the corner. The 29 hrs I need to complete are not being offered can u believe that... Anyhow I am taking stats of pyschology and I am nervous like u won't believe, for the simple fact that I not good in math. I gonna try the best I can. My roomate and I ah thats kinda rocky because we think differently on a lot of things. It amazes me how someone like her has gotten so far on striving for the minimun. She talks I just tend to tune her out. At her job she is threading on this ice. Aww good news, This coming up staurday I am going to reggeton concert in Mission. Whoo I can't wait and only for 25 dollars, thats mad cheap for something thats so popular right now in the east coast.

Speaking of east coast my friend Rob and I have been really close lately like best friends type. Only if he was closer we could chill daily but he lives in Jerzee as he calls it. Oh well. I am in the process of looking for new webhosting for my site, cuz the one I am currently with succs big time he is ripping us off. The process looks good. Well my break over and time to hit the books before the VMA's begin

Lets see what reviews I have for the day:

Ozomalti "Steet Signs" 5 *****

LLcoolJ-Definition 4 **** simply because some of the beats sound the same

Pitbull-MIAMI-4 **** its ok I guess I expected more

Nelly-Suit- 4 **** a little softer then his usual style

So many tunes so little time

Mon, 09 Aug 2004 18:05:23 GMT

We are back to another monday, my weekend was okies. Nothing special happend. I am just here chillin with some oldies and thinking there are so many cds coming out so little dollars available. These are the ones I want as followed if u have them I would like to know what u think of them...Thanks

Nina Sky-debut Album

Sean Paul-Duttyology

Christina Millian

Tony Sunshine

Terror Squad- Lean Back album

thats all for this week @ the moment that are in stores now or gonna be

Is there enough space in someone's life?

Sun, 08 Aug 2004 05:00:26 GMT

Drinking a 7up, and chatting with Soular Flarez as usual. I sit here and think, What does having "ur own space" mean to people? Obviously not the same as it means to me. I been trying to figure why I been behaving and thinking the way that I have been, its like as if a bottle exploded inside of me, and no matter how much I explain to people who care about me they won't understand. I get calls and emails saying, _________I love u why u being distant with everyone blah blah. Its not that I mean to when the reality is I need time for myself is that so wrong? I am growing up I need to start thinking of plan A without people hounding me, or maybe I just quiet for the fact that I have nothing to say. People always assume wrong things and its way in left field. Enough rambling

You know I been thinking alot about books and tv, granted we have cable now but damn I find myself getting bored faster. I prefer a book and music anyday. You use ur imgination to ur liking. I attempted to watch tomb raider I couldn't get into it for nothing. I miss writing poems I think thats gonna be my goal for this week to write at least 2 pieces. Other then that I am ok I gonna see if there is a movie to fall asleep to

Built Up In a Bottle

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 04:46:58 GMT

Look at my eyes, why they puffy? Everything was Built up in this little bottle that connects with my heart and mind. Tears flow unwantingly but thats what happends when a pain in ur chest hurts.

Finally today I cried which was good I needed to I can't exactly say what made it happen it just did, like I exploded inside or something. Mom and I have been on agh! terms today she can't take my smartass I admit I been a lil hard and I need to behave but come on now she knows better. Oh well I hope my additude changes cuz no matter how much I try and be nice the sarcasum flows like nile river. I am glad my mom is happy but Jealousy eats me up so much yes I admit it. Maybe tomrrow will be a better day.

Have u ever had a cd where u skip no tracks, what cd was it?

A REAL Soldier cries

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 03:40:06 GMT

July 29,2004 a rountine stop to my uncle's house turned into a grief of sadness but a sign of relief in the same breath. A war veteran of WW2 is laid to rest along his wife. 2 years of suffering he finally has gone where he can be himself once more. Walking in that house is like a time line. Time stood still everything from 60 years ago or more still in tact. Driving up and walking up the drive way. There stood a man about 5'6 with open arms never felt a hug so warm as "Uncle Silver's" as he was known as. "Sit down at the table beautiful" He would say everytime. Starting a conversation with this man was like opening a history book. He told you were he has been in the world and what it was like. Pretty interesting if you ask me. When I was younger I had regular hospital visits and who was there, Uncle Silver was. Oh and he always told us (kids) how he lost his finger in the wars. He was a social and respected man even in the military (ARMY)

These past two days preparing for the funeral wasn't so sad, it was like a reunion that a few got to go to. Laughter and Jokes are all you heard among the household and the VFW 2390 post. It was odd at the memorial because everyone was taking pictures of one another and saying "Hi Oh look at you now, my goodness" My cousin though Rudy said a few words and broke down. I choked because I was sad but don't like to cry in front of people. I think it was said best when my family said A REAL SOLDIER CRIES, my grandfather (uncle silver's brother) stayed quiet for most of the time, very reserved he is but I love that man with all my heart.

In the blazing heat the Military was going to honor him in a gun salute in which he deserved. I sat down next to my mom. The flag was placed over the coffin. *boom, boom, boom* as taps continued to play, That was the saddest moment of all because a soldier who did so much and remembers where he always came from was now resting in peace. I held on to my emotions I got a lump in my throat it was then when I realized no more stories no more significant laugh that described him and also, is this preparing me for whats to come as days go by and months, that my grandfather to will be no longer there? Everyone has to go sometime some sooner than others. I guess that is my story and my story of the journey me and my family have come to terms with. Its not a sad momentum its more of a reflection of who this man Silverio Ramirez and where I come from.

A Salute To a Great Soldier and a Great Uncle, everytime I look up at the sky I will make sure and wave because I know you a sipping a beer in your german cup and letting all the others know your adventures.

Silverio Ramirez- 1918-2004

Its Been Awhile......

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 22:34:04 GMT

Wow its been awhile since I written in LJ so for starters lemme turn off all interuptions so I can make sense as I write down my many random thoughts.

Well I finished summer 1 with a C which is "ok" but I wanted a B, took off to Nebraska for my friends wedding. Geez the midwest is worse than Tx I tell u their houses are bigger than their barns. Just green and corn everywhere. It was a 10 hr drive but it was the sweetest wedding I been to in a while. Came back to Houston and my lil bro was here for a couple days. I love him and all but his mom is a pain in the ass in a half. Thank God they left our house when they did cuz I was about to release the anger.

A week later my mom found out she got a promotion YAY!!!!!!!! but had to go to dallas for training for a day in a half, so I tagged along thinking I would visit my fam. Well I stay the night at my grandma's house talk about feeling unwanted by ur own fam. I felt as if I was in the way. So I went to my aunts house for the rest of the evening I was sad a lil. OMG I went to see my grandma this week I swear if my relatives ask me when am I getting married or having kids I gonna say I am adopted lmao

Yesterday I found out I got a grant for the fall and spring woot! thats what I'm talking about pay for my education succas! LMAO! so that helps ALOT! Today is just one of those days I feel like screaming and no one cares what they say or do. My family is going through a hard time I just dunno how to handle it when the time gets here. I will be ok I just need to zone out a bit and talk to happy people. My home life is ok I am taking off to New Mexico next week unless I have a death in the family.

ONLINE LIFE-AGH!!!!!!!!! I can not say how much I wanna be done with my site and the net world. They sooooooooo weird if i told u half the stories u wouldn't believe me LMAO!

<^> thats all I got to say now that I said my piece and feel muncho better I must resume to my normality!

Marking a Moment In Time!

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 06:03:45 GMT

Today I had a day off because of the Reagan Funeral, so I found myself infront of my tv intergued by it all, 10 years since they have done a state funeral.. Reagan is like JFK of my generation. History was marked today to say the least. Some people may disagree and blow it off like any other, but I was thinking of my friend and wondered if he was there attending the funeral as a marine since he is stationed in CA..Throughout the whole day, I think I was more amazed at what the reagan children had to say about their father and how Nancy said her last goodbye, so heart felt.

On to another subject, My cousin (marcy) contacted me via email to tell me about the news of her pregnancy. At first I thought "Ok she doesn't have the guts to call me" but half way through she stated that she didn't want me to be disappointed and before we spoke for me to calm down and think about this rationally. Which she did have a point because I do have a temper. When my mom first told me I flipped the hell out. Marcy assumed I didn't know so she proceed to explain. Later that night I called her and we talked. She says she waited this long to tell me because her words had to be planned out. She said she had the upmost respect for me and its hard when you close to someone like we are with each other. I explained to her that HONESTLY I didn't like what I read but hey its done, no turning back now..All I can do is hope and pray she takes care of her responsibities and continues with school. After I said all that she was happier then she had been, because my MOM on the other hand didn't take it so well, she has her strong opinions about this situation because she herself has been down this road, that still worries marcy that she doesn't have mom's approval, she looks up to her, as do I. So in time I will help ease my mother over. I am more open minded then she is.

Jessica my ex roomate came over yesterday things never sieze to amaze me with her, she upgraded from Male Hoes to Gangsta Hoes *Rolls eyes* The longest 30 mins of my life went by Oh Joy! Oh well no more dwelling on the past lets move on shall we whats done is done!

Alone Contiplating Random Thoughts

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 20:29:18 GMT

*Staring at the screen thinking Hmmm* So how has everyone in the net world been doing? I, myself can't complain. Recently things have been looking up for once. School is good for being a summer session. Took an exam today but I thought it was more like a quiz. The teacher is cool, she doesn't care what ur views are as long as you have a opinion. The stuff that she has us reading is good, lit works I have read before but never have thought about them in the angles that she teachs, the hardest teachers are the ones u learn most from.

At home, my roomate and I are getting along she keeps her space and I keep mine. I hope that in time by living with me builds her self esteem and confidence. She started a new job today I hope it works well. On a side note, hell as far as style this chic is stuck in the 80's LOL!! This week I felt bad because I have just had one of those weeks where u want to be left alone, no one calling or talking so I haven't said much. Other than that we are all gravy. I have been writing letters to Dj while he is working at TLC as a counslor for the summer. He called me last night borrowing someone's cell phone *smiles* I could tell it meant alot to him that I wrote to say happy birthday last week. He asked me to call his mom and tell her things just in general, but don't think she approves of me for some odd vibe. *shrugs* My mom is doing good, with her new man and such (still an adjustment for me)

Online Life-

Things are all good so far Loft 21.com, is getting bigger as days go by just by word of mouth. I have done some heavy recruitments. I must say we have got some talented graphics artist reppin the loft. For example here is some of the work:

That was done for me by one of my members (7A) and incase some of u dunno that person in the pic is Lyrical Elite Nas! No beef lately which is good the less drama the better. I am in the process of adding more to the site in a few days.

Well that summs up the week for me nothing Exciting happend but when it does LJ will be the first to know....

Political Wonders!

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 21:08:50 GMT

www.catsprn.com/cowboys.htm

what it shows in the link is right, I had a negative thought on regean since he passed at first because so many glorified him BUT what about what he did wrong, Hmm. Yes regean had good intentions and everyone makes mistakes. Just look at bush agh! I don't agree with the way he handles himself in his speechs he is unable to answer questions the people want to know, but hey against kerry he is getting the job done. People fail to realize the wars in the past were much worse, if they would only read and pay attention to the news they would know.

Deep thought of the day!